Unlike virtually all of my fiction, Toilet Humour is loosely based on a true encounter. Back when I was in high school, my friends and I were eating dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory on The Esplanade (which is funny in its own right – heading all the way downtown just to eat at a chain-style restaurant).
While in the bathroom, an older man looked at me and a friend and said, “Don’t you hate urinals?” He paused. “They’re where all the dicks hang out!”
I thought it was pretty funny, even if his raunchy unprovoked joke to a couple of teenagers was bordering on creepy.
The rest of the story is fictionalized, but the initial encounter did happen.
I was glad to publish this story in City.River.Tree. The editors referred to themselves only as “Him” and “Her” and awarded “The Prize” to their favourite story of the year. Clearly, a magazine that doesn’t take itself too seriously was a perfect fit for a story set at the urinals. I chose to become a Patreon in lieu of payment, as a thank you for their hard work.
As with Paradox, I wish I had come up with a more creative title for this story. Never send out your work until it’s complete!